Ummmm, No: The Art of Speaking with Purpose

I don’t remember who told me. Maybe it was my college speech professor. But… this has stuck with me for 30 years. Even my own kids have said, “You have long quiet pauses between sentences”. 

It is because I worked VERY hard for years to NOT say. “Ummm…” between sentences while speaking with other people. 

Have you ever sat through a conversation, presentation, or even a casual chat and found yourself mentally counting how many times someone says, “umm,” “like,” or “you know”? These verbal fillers may seem harmless, but they dilute your message, diminish your credibility, and can leave your audience questioning your confidence and professionalism.

Why We Use Fillers

Fillers like “um” and “like” often creep into our speech when our brains need a moment to catch up. They serve as placeholders while we gather our thoughts, but the unintended consequence is that they clutter our communication. These fillers can give the impression that we are unsure, unprepared, or even uninterested in what we’re saying.

The Power of Silence

Silence is a tool, not an enemy. Strategic pauses in your speech allow your audience to absorb your message. A pause shows confidence and gives you a moment to compose your thoughts without resorting to meaningless words. Think of silence as verbal white space—it gives your words room to breathe and your message a chance to land.

Tips to Eliminate Fillers

  1. Practice Mindful Speaking Record yourself speaking and listen for patterns. Awareness is the first step toward improvement.

  2. Embrace the Pause Train yourself to replace fillers with silence. Pausing might feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s a powerful communication tool.

  3. Slow Down Speaking too quickly often leads to more fillers. Slowing your pace gives you time to think and choose your words carefully.

  4. Prepare and Practice Whether it’s a presentation or a casual conversation, preparation can significantly reduce filler words. Practice speaking in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend.

  5. Seek Feedback Ask someone you trust to point out when you use filler words. Constructive feedback can help you break the habit.

Why It Matters

Effective communication is key in every area of life. Whether you’re leading a meeting, having a heartfelt conversation, or pitching an idea, your words carry weight. Fillers detract from that weight. By eliminating meaningless words, you speak with clarity, purpose, and impact.

So next time you feel an “um” or “like” creeping up, remember: silence is golden. Choose your words wisely, and your voice will resonate with power and confidence.

Say “ummm, no” to filler words and watch how much more impactful your communication becomes.